try this...

WHAT IS THE THIRD (or second if necesary) LETTER OF YOUR SURNAME?
A- I ATE..
B- I LICKED..
C- I SAT ON..
D- I PEED ON..
E- I HUMPED..
F- I CHASED..
G- I TACKLED..
H- I SHAT ON..
I- I STALKED..
J- I RAW AWAY WITH..
K- I FELL IN LOVE WITH..
L- I HAD A CRUSH ON..
M- I WANKED OVER..
N- I HAD AN AFFAIR WITH..
O- I PUNCHED..
P- I BIT..
Q- I SCREAMED AT..
R- I HAD A ONE NIGHT STAND WITH..
S- I WROTE A LOVE SONG ABOUT..
T- I TIED UP..
U- I HAD 69 WITH..
V- I SUCKED..
W- I POKED..
X- I SLEPT WITH..
Y- I MADE A MOVE ON..
Z- I WENT ON A DATE WITH..

FIND THE SECOND LETTER OF YOUR MIDDLE NAME...
A- A PROSTITUTE..
B- MY TEACHER..
C- GEORGE BUSH..
D- A RAT..
E- A TRAMP..
F- A SHEEP..
G- MY PLUMBER..
H- MY COMPUTER..
I- MY FINGERS..
J- A RABBIT..
K- A LEMMING..
L- AN APPLE..
M- TONY BLAIR..
N- A VIBRATOR..
O- A DILDO..
P- A MOVIESTAR..
Q- MY EX..
R- A BANANA..
S- A CUCUMBER..
T- A TUB OF VASELINE..
U- A PORNSTAR..
V- MY BARBIEDOLL..
W- AN ACTION MAN..
X- SOME CHEESE..
Y- A RANDOM GUY..
Z- SOME RANDOM WOMAN..

NOW FIND THE COLOUR OF THE UNDERWEAR YOU ARE WEARING...
RED- IN A TAXI..
BLUE- IN A BUSH..
GREEN- IN THE BATH..
BLACK- IN MY PARENTS BEDROOM..
WHITE- WHEN I WAS FIVE..
PINK- ON LIVE TV..
BROWN- WHEN I WAS A BABY..
PURPLE- ON THE BUS..
YELLOW- IN A CANDY STORE..
GREY- UNDER A COW..
ORANGE- IN A PIGSTY..
OTHER- BEHIND YOUR SOFA..

NOW FIND YOUR HAIR COLOR...
BLONDE- BECAUSE I WAS HIGH ON COCAINE!
BLACK- BECAUSE IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME!
BROWN- BECAUSE IT TURNED ME ON!
GINGER- BECAUSE I'M MAD!
RED- BECAUSE I'M BORED OF THE USUAL!
STRAWBERRY BLONDE- BECAUSE I CAN'T FACE THE FACT THAT I AM GINGER.